Jokes

I don’t need Reach Access toothbrush as I don’t have teeth in places hard to reach.

Close your eyes. Give me your hand. Do you feel it? – Is it silk? – No, I shaved my back.

Do you have speech problems? You stutter? Stammer? Lisp? Ask your pharmacist for new Immonotropodyspohydroscartteoned. Now with lemon flavor.

Vodka ‘Time Machine’. You drink it and it’s tomorrow!

10 Tick-Tacks for breakfast, 70 for lunch and 30 for dinner. Your breath is fresh but very weak.

Drink orange juice! Orange juice is health! Health is sport! Sport is success! Success is sex! Sex is AIDS! AIDS is death! DON’T DRINK ORANGE JUICE!

Internet via railroad rails. The widest bandwidth ever!

Russian Union of Pediatricians endorses only Pampers. Russian Union of Pediatricians is the only union created with the sole purpose to endorse Pampers.

A rat asks a hamster, “Why humans hate me but you have such success with them? What’s wrong with me? I’m good, nice, smart and kind. The only difference between you and me is my tail.” The hamster (pauses), “Have you ever heard of PR?”