Overheard in Moscow
At maaskva: nashimi glazami blog I found these hilarious stories "Overheard in Moscow". Thank you, mng, for translations.
Snack vendor on a train (she is pushing a cart down the corridor of the car): "Sodas! Mineral water! Chips! Nuts! Chocolate bars! Wafers! Cookies! Calmari! Suxariki (crouton snacks)...
Passenger: Excuse me, do you have beer?
Snack vendor: Yes, we have everything...with the exception of money and happiness.
Overheard on the Moscow-Odessa train (twenty minutes after departure)
Overheard by lucat_lj
---
Policeman (checking the papers of a well-dressed man from the Caucasus): You know, we usually fine your ethnicity...
Overheard by the entrance to Preobrazhenskaya Ploshchad metro station
Overheard by hummobile
---
Young man (walking quickly down the sidewalk, pushing passersby aside and shouting into a mobile phone): You have a liberal arts education?! Shi_, you have a liberal arts education? I have no f___ing use for you!
Overheard on Novokuznetskaya St.
Overheard by z_m_z
---
A red-haired freckled beauty (sniffing perfume at a counter): I'm telling you this is out of this world. Here, give it a sniff.
Conservatively-dressed man (in a mopy tone): Uh, Elya, as if I have nothing else in this world to smell. If you like it, let's get it.
Beauty: Oh, come on, honey, try it. What if you are allergic to it?
Man:Elya, any minute now I'm gonna get allergic to your tediousness. Come on, choose and let's get out of here.
Beauty: Oh, so that's how you're going to be about it! [turning to the sales girl] Excuse me, where is your most expensive perfume?
Overheard at TsUM Department Store
Overheard by boriskus
---
Attractive young woman: Do all of us have to take the oral exam on philosophy tomorrow?
Second young woman, unattractive: No, only those studying early philosophers.
Attractive young woman: (pauses) Is Freud an early philosopher?
Overheard in the metro
Overheard by sounata
---
Mother, aged 30: OK, let's see how you studied. Now why did Pushkin die?
Son, aged 9: He challenged some baron to a duel, and the baron killed him.
Mother: OK, but why did he challenge him to a duel?
Son: Because the baron criticized his poems!
Mother: So what, lots of people criticized Pushkin's poems.
Son (after some thought): The baron really teed him off, OK?!
Overheard on the 28 trolleybus on Komsomolski Prospekt
Overheard by shisis
Snack vendor on a train (she is pushing a cart down the corridor of the car): "Sodas! Mineral water! Chips! Nuts! Chocolate bars! Wafers! Cookies! Calmari! Suxariki (crouton snacks)...
Passenger: Excuse me, do you have beer?
Snack vendor: Yes, we have everything...with the exception of money and happiness.
Overheard on the Moscow-Odessa train (twenty minutes after departure)
Overheard by lucat_lj
---
Policeman (checking the papers of a well-dressed man from the Caucasus): You know, we usually fine your ethnicity...
Overheard by the entrance to Preobrazhenskaya Ploshchad metro station
Overheard by hummobile
---
Young man (walking quickly down the sidewalk, pushing passersby aside and shouting into a mobile phone): You have a liberal arts education?! Shi_, you have a liberal arts education? I have no f___ing use for you!
Overheard on Novokuznetskaya St.
Overheard by z_m_z
---
A red-haired freckled beauty (sniffing perfume at a counter): I'm telling you this is out of this world. Here, give it a sniff.
Conservatively-dressed man (in a mopy tone): Uh, Elya, as if I have nothing else in this world to smell. If you like it, let's get it.
Beauty: Oh, come on, honey, try it. What if you are allergic to it?
Man:Elya, any minute now I'm gonna get allergic to your tediousness. Come on, choose and let's get out of here.
Beauty: Oh, so that's how you're going to be about it! [turning to the sales girl] Excuse me, where is your most expensive perfume?
Overheard at TsUM Department Store
Overheard by boriskus
---
Attractive young woman: Do all of us have to take the oral exam on philosophy tomorrow?
Second young woman, unattractive: No, only those studying early philosophers.
Attractive young woman: (pauses) Is Freud an early philosopher?
Overheard in the metro
Overheard by sounata
---
Mother, aged 30: OK, let's see how you studied. Now why did Pushkin die?
Son, aged 9: He challenged some baron to a duel, and the baron killed him.
Mother: OK, but why did he challenge him to a duel?
Son: Because the baron criticized his poems!
Mother: So what, lots of people criticized Pushkin's poems.
Son (after some thought): The baron really teed him off, OK?!
Overheard on the 28 trolleybus on Komsomolski Prospekt
Overheard by shisis
posted by Konstantin at Tuesday, December 20, 2005
1 Comments:
Konstantin,
Glad to see you picked up the post.
I'll be adding you to my nogs section.
mng
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