Marketing Jokes

New Pampers diapers absorb 30 litres of liquid. Your baby is dry but cannot move.

Hey, Mars and Snickers! Why are you sobbing? – Milkyway sank. We couldn’t save him.

Would you swap 10 packs of usual detergent for 1 gram of unusual?

Tampax for men - the best inner soles for footwear.


Technorati Tags: Jokes, Mars, Snickers, advertising, Pampers, Tampax

Real Business

This Russian billboard reads, "Strategy and tactics of success. The real business." The billboard is hanging on the wall of the city jail in Rostov.

Via Billboardom

Zewa Truck

"I love my heart upside down. Zewa Plus."

I don't know if this ad is a spoof or not. The number plates are definitely nor Russian but I like the idea. Right to the point.

Technorati Tags: humor, Zewa, Russian, advertising, toilet paper

Don't drink and drive

What a chef-d'?uvre comes from Lowe, Paris! Just imagine. You take a seat at a caf?, order beer, look through the glass top of your table and see your legs paralyzed and you’re in a wheel chair. Cauchemar! I think French people have a totally different mindset from Russians. A Frenchman would probably ask a waiter to cancel beer and bring him a nice cup of coffee. The Frenchman would probably tell the waiter, “Thank you for warning me about drunk driving. I almost forgot how dangerous it is.”

Russians are different. After the initial shock a Russian would call the waiter to order a bottle of vodka and a dish of pickled cornichons. The Russian would be seating there for several hours drinking, looking at the paralyzed legs and musing on his evil lot. “Life teaches us that a human should never tempt the Destiny”, - he’d be thinking.

“Alas poor Yorik, I knew him well… You were absolutely sober in your Nissan Micra when that drunken bastard in his armor-plated BMW 700 hit you. Now the drunk is ok (thanks to supreme airbags) and free (thanks to sleazy lawyers) but your life is destroyed. One moment you are happy and healthy but the next moment the Fate blindly strikes and you are poor, ruined and in a wheelchair. Your wife left you, your friends forgot about you and only the owner this caf? sticks the pictures of your legs on tabletops. So let me take this last shot for you. I need to drive home”.

Picture via Ad Hunt

Technorati Tags: Lowe, Paris, drunk driving, advertising, Russian mindset, fate

Aiku

Now Orbit's without Sugar.

But why Sugar dumped it?

Always Coca

Coca-Cola polar bears return. AdAge informs:

First created in 1993, the Coca-Cola Christmas polar bears have become one of the country's most beloved advertising series. The latest version, which features a bears-meet-but-don't-eat-the-penguins theme, is Berlin Cameron's final creative project for the beverage giant. The agency has been replaced on the account by Wieden & Kennedy of Portland, Ore.

Coco-Cola polar bears are so beloved in Russia that two designers Ozhogin and Kalininskiy made a series of parody ads like this one. The tagline: “Always Coca”.


Do you know that up to 1904 cocaine was a key ingredient of Coca-Cola? That’s what made it so successful.

Technorati Tags: Moscow, Russia, Coca Cola, advertising, parody, polar bears

Sober Up With Rassol

Russians are known for the highest level of expertise in vodka drinking. Click here if you want to know how to drink vodka and stay sober.

I’d like to add my two kopecks:

1. A table-spoon of olive oil increases the effect of raw eggs. Take it before the party.
2. The best way to start the morning after is ‘rassol’ or pickle – the liquid that is left in a can when all salted cucumbers (or tomatoes) are gone. But ordinary pickle is the most primitive mean to fight hangover and to sober up.

Ochakovo, one of the leading Russian breweries, is very concerned with unpleasant aftereffects of its alcohol drinks. That was probably the reason why Ochakovo launched an absolutely new product on the market – pickle to sober up called Rassol. That’s what every crapulent man dreams about!

The brew on the photograph is made of cabbage in strict accordance with a secret Russian recipe. I don’t think the product was a success. I didn’t see it in stores anywhere. First, for an ordinary Russian carbonated rassol in a can is something totally outlandish. Russians always have their own rassol as no party goes without traditional pickled cucumbers. Second, Russians rarely plan ahead that they would have bad hang-overs. Having hang-over is somewhat shameful. People who know how to drink in the right way never have a thick head in the morning.

What's the message?

What do you think when you look at this ad? Vip Gym with its slogan “Get up and move” put such stickers on chairs in bars and cafes. There’s no information if this ad really worked. I would refrain from taking a chair like this with all passer-by’s having fun and you feeling like an idiot. “Get up and run away!” could be a better slogan.



I asked some of my friends what they thought was the message of the ad. All of them thought Vip Gym is a fitness club for elder people. The pictured ass is definitely old and flabby. What do you think?

Via AdHunt

Technorati Tags: ad, restaurant, vip, gym, fitness

Premium sugar?

Sostav.ru reports on a new product – Belenkiy “premium” sugar.

Distinctive feature of the new product is its package of micro corrugated cardboard. A package of this material is practically universal - strong, almost is not creased, perfectly protects a sugar inside, has an attractive appearance and can replace a usual sugar bowl on a table. One more feature is "poured" packaging. In "Belenkij" boxes sugar is poured, instead of being stacked, as lump sugar of the standard sample.
The product is focused on office consumption and on people with average income.
Production has already appeared on sale in retail shops. The price on a shelf is 45-50 roubles for 700 grams.

The price is simple incredible – it’s about three times higher than average. I don’t think people are willing to pay so much for the promise of “super quality”. Sugar is a generic product. There are many different sugar producers, packages look different but consumers don’t pay attention to sugar brands. What is more important – people believe (rightly so) that the price of different sugar brands is almost the same. When I buy sugar at a supermarket I never pay attention to a price tag as I got used that prices for sugar brands don’t differ. It seems that Belenskiy brand is simply a way to fool inattentive consumers into buying this overpriced commodity.

Technorati Tags: Moscow, Russia, sugar, premium, sostav

Move to vecheBLUEyka!

English words are pretty common in Russian print advertising although I don’t think it’s reasonable in a country where 60% of population doesn’t know Latin alphabet. Sometimes advertisers do really outlandish ads with English words. Tuborg beer in Russia wants to stand out from competitors on store shelves for its green bottle. It started sponsoring DJ parties all over the country with the slogan “Move to the party!” ‘Party’ in Russian is ‘vecherinka’ so marketing guys at Tuborg thought it was a good idea to put the word ‘green’ in the middle. This way it sounds ‘vecheGREENka’. Somewhat similar but silly. You start reading the phrase then your eyes stop in the middle; you read the English word, then the ending, all the time trying to make sense out of this gibberish.

I’m not the only one who finds ‘vecheGREENka’ bizarre. Designers from BraMC Studio made this parody ad to promote Gzhelka vodka known for its bluish package design. ‘VecheBLUEyka’ is a good word easily associated with the word ‘blevat’ – to throw up.



Caption underneath goes, “Alcohol abuse can clean your stomach”.

Technorati Tags: Moscow, Russia, Tuborg, advertising, beer, vodka, parody

Robby Bubble

A Romanian company Karom Drinks started marketing a new non-alcoholic sparkling wine for Russian kids. It’s called “Robby Bubble” and comes with four different fruity tastes. The “pedagogical” idea behind the product is promoting responsible drinking. Sparkling wine is a drink for special occasions and is always associated with great and exciting occasions, like a New Year party or a birthday. Kids usually sit together at the table with grown-ups but they are not allowed to drink alcohol. That’s not fair! Everyone raises glasses with sparkling wine when the clock strikes 12 on the New Year Eve but kids had to drink juice. Robby Bubble corrects this wrong. Some say sparking wine for kids is only promoting alcohol consumption. Some say that it’s vice versa. When kids are taught that wine is something forbidden and only for grown-up they will be attracted to alcohol and start drinking in the early age.

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Technorati Tags: wine, Russia, kids, new product, Robby Bubble, Romania

Making Money

More than 100 billboards with “Finans” (Finance) weekly ads were placed in Moscow on the 1st of September 2003. Three weeks later all of them were dismantled when the ad was banned by city authorities as immoral and offensive. The text on the poster goes, “A magazine about making money”. What are a dollar and a euro doing? This is a kind of psychological projective test. Me and most of my friends at the first glance thought they were dancing. But then we looked closer and realized they are doing something else. They are making money.

Still I cannot get the message of this ad. First, if the dollar becomes pregnant, what kind of money would it bear? Like, if you leave a dollar bill and a euro bill inside your wallet for a night then in the morning you will find a thousand rubles. Second, if they make money then the euro is definitely male and the dollar female. Why? Because euro is stronger than dollar? But then if the US Federal Reserve changes dollar discount rate would it change dollar sex as well.

So many questions so few answers. I think I buy the next issue of Finans magazine.

Technorati Tags: Moscow, Russia, billboard, advertising, making money, euro, dollar